he might kill me for this, but i need to talk about @whitneykentchamberlin and @yeahfieldtrip . Sigh. It’s hard to know where to start. Maybe with our text conversation from a few hours ago: “Feel off this morning. What does this all mean?” whitney wrote. I texted something sympathetic back about how creating experiences for other people they value can be challenging and lonely. He responded, “...the love I have for something I can’t touch or see keeps me going.... when it gets hard and you feel alone in your quest you ask yourself why ... And the answers are not always good. they can be selfish, fear based, ego based...” (I texted back various forms of uh-huhs and mmhmms) “If everyone loves themselves and can see themselves then it gives space for loving more. More love, more love... That’s why I do this” And there you have it. Straight from whitney’s mouth. For those who have wondered or been intimidated by what @yeahfieldtrip is, stripped down (pun intended), at its very core it’s simply making space for more love using the method of creative connection and self understanding. Obviously field trip is special to me because during year one i met my best friend. He was a storm of love and energy i never saw coming, that whitney. In the five years of field trip that have followed, you may have heard me complain about how nervous the event makes me. How hard attending can be for introverts or people who feel like misfits, always standing in the corners of the room waiting to not feel awkward, to be invited all the way in. But incredibly, i don’t feel that way anymore. I’d like to say it’s because i changed but it’s actually that @yeahfieldtrip changed. Now i look at the event as my one chance a year to go to the place i know people will be speaking my language. Where what matters is heart, creation, humor and understanding. This year is is going to be phenomenal , and i would strongly strongly encourage anyone out there even thinking about it to go go go! It’s not a photography event, it’s a human event. It’s an understanding how to feel at peace with yourself and make meaningful work event. I really hope to see you there. #yeahfieldtrip

getting closer, getting further. #film

Hi, remember me? Temporarily breaking my instagram abstinence to let you know I’m doing a Crazy Christmas sale on #teethkiss, my downloadable workshop on finding your creative identity from your couch. And yes you can give it as a gift. Right now it’s $100 off, which makes the ticket price $200 bucks. For four shoots, a bunch of video lectures and a process that will give you more insight into who you are and what you want than you probably even bargained for. I can’t tell you how many people have told me they have finally started to make the work they see in their hearts eye, but couldn’t manage to make happen. UNTIL TEETHKISS. I’m not going to mince words, at this price point you’d be a moron not to buy. If that hurts your feelings, just know i have a lot of morons in my life i still love. For instance, certain family members—-jk, i digress. Back to business. You don’t need a code, you don’t need to shoot film, or shoot families, you just need to care about making work that means something to you, and to click on the link in my bio or on my site and get teethkiss for $200 today. Dooo eeet! In the mean time, I’m still chillin as much off the internet’s as possible. I miss you all here, but my soul keeps saying, stay quiet. Listen. So that’s what I’m trying to do. And it makes it reallly hard when i have ideas i want to share, questions to ask and people to stalk! But such is life. Much love and peace during this holiday time! Love, yan #film p.s. doing a live Facebook Q&A for teethkiss users in our Facebook group, makeout today. It’s at 4pm MST if you wanna tune in.

disconnecting to reconnect. Sorry for unreturned messages, most have gone unseen. Don’t plan on being here for awhile, except for brief check-ins like this. ✌🏻 and 💕

What you should know about the people making these shadow letters is that one of them is a mom to two kids, and one of them is a dad to the same two kids and they decided to do a shoot as a family even though that mom and dad are no longer a couple. The mom said to me, “I want the father of my kids to have beautiful photos with them like I have.” So she invited him. And it was beautiful. Love can look like a lot of things. #film

please allow this to make your day. #film

don’t take drugs. #almostfamous. But do take psychedelic portraits when you can with your clients’ rad mirrors. #film

What is it about the stark surprise of seeing a woman without makeup? How we feel a little shocked and almost violated by the intimacy of encountering a grown woman’s face just as it is—without the colorful apology women have been wearing for so long. I know what you’re thinking. Self righteous, makeup-less b*$h. But I ask this from the perspective of the eyes seeing that makeup less woman. I ask this because I have felt that way, shocked and off put by a simple, bare face. I have had to ask myself: why? Why did the tiniest feeling of embarrassment for that clean faced woman start to tighten my chest? What about this encounter frightened me? What is my discomfort trying to teach me this time? And so here I am practicing. Practicing looking at my own face, naked. Seeing how many days it will take before I can look in the mirror without meeting my own discomfort. I know that sounds like I condemn makeup. I don’t. I advocate women doing whatever it is that makes them feel most beautiful. As long as it’s your voice, not society’s or anyone else’s, working to fill in the definition of beauty. EDITED! I added some clarification about what i mean when i say surprised in the comments. Look for the looooong comment from me. I’d paste it but won’t fit ✨🙏🏻✌🏻

Infinity in seconds. #film

of course mist is like a lot of things. The beauty is in part being unable to understand. when we get up close, it seems to disappear — when we lose the mystery, we often lose the magic. #film

l o v e #film #quadrupleexposure